


Moving On- A Sam and Dean Backwards Poem

by DivergentLunarShadowhunter



Series: Backwards Poems [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Brotherly Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Lots of Angst, Post-Purgatory, Post-Purgatory Dean Winchester, Season/Series 08, Season/Series 08 Spoilers, Soulless Sam Winchester, Temporary Character Death, takes place at or after s8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 14:35:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13033221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DivergentLunarShadowhunter/pseuds/DivergentLunarShadowhunter
Summary: When Sam first died, Dean literally *did* die to save him by agreeing to the demon deal. The first time Dean died, when the deal came to pass, a part of Sam did too. He did everything he could to get his brother back, and even when nothing worked he still couldn't move on. So when Dean got sent to Purgatory...what changed in Sam?Reverse poem about Sam & Dean's reactions to each others' multiple deaths, and how they finally (or never did) manage to move on.





	Moving On- A Sam and Dean Backwards Poem

**Author's Note:**

> I've been sitting on this one for a LONG time. I finished it 11 days ago but I started it way back on December 1st- a whole 16 days ago. For me, that's a very long time to edit and rewrite a poem. I started rewriting this poem literally three different times until I got it right!
> 
> I think it worked out in the end, I hope you feel the same way!   
> **Read normally for Sam's POV and then read from bottom to top for Dean's POV**

_ Move on _

_ I had to _

_ At some point _

_ I would never think _

_ To live like that forever _

_ Always in grief _

_ I couldn’t handle it _

_ But _

_ I met someone _

_ Like we always promised  _

 

_ I was _

_ Falling apart _

_ When it first started _

_ Going to hell _

_ When I was _

_ Alone _

_ I barely lived without you _

 

_ What changed? _

_ The first time _

_ You looked for me when I was gone _

 

_ I watched you die _

_ So why couldn’t you? _

_ I tried to save you _

 

_ But this time _

_ I gave up _

 

_ The truth is _

_ When you died _

_ I did try to find you again _

_ For a long time _

_ Like you did when I died, _

_ The first time, _

 

_ I couldn’t believe my brother... _

_ Was really gone _

_ I told myself no family _

_ Was as close as us _

_ Nobody _

_ For the longest time _

_ I waited _

_ Knowing you _

_ Would not come back _

 

_ But you _

_ There was no saving _

_ When death struck again _

_ I waited long enough _

 

_ I had to _

_ Move on just because _

_ I would never let myself _

_ Grieve for that long _

_ I didn’t know how to _

_ Live without you _

_ I thought I could _

_ Move on _

_ So I did _

_ I’m sorry. _

**Author's Note:**

> Was that confusing? I feel like it is. Basically the first half of Sam's side is that he finally did what they always said- he moved on, found Amelia, had a life. He explains that yes, the first time Dean died it was horrible for him and he couldn't move on; but this time he gave up because there was nothing he could do except move on. 
> 
> Dean's side is that he also did what Sam said- he got a life with Lisa, he tried to move on as best he could. He reflects on all the times he tried to save his brother, and wonders why Sam couldn't do the same for him when he was in Purgatory. He says that Sam's death(s) destroyed him, and he could never hope to truly move on.
> 
> Maybe that helped a little? I keep getting confused with which death was which season, which death was when Sam came back soulless...basically I'm getting my seasons mixed up, so sorry if something isn't right.
> 
> Anyways, please let me know what you though about it! Thanks for reading!


End file.
